LOVE

I’m writing this on February 14, 2024, without a partner, a date, a significant other, a friend with benefits you name it.  But it’s the day for LOVE!!  I have “Love” signs in my upstairs office and I have a collection of hearts.  Even the sticker I created is a heart with sunshine!

  So, am I obsessed with love?  I’ve been divorced for 5.5 years, and it was almost 29 years ago that my ex-husband proposed to me (February 18, 1995).  February has some significance when it comes to love.

How many times did I wear some white piece of clothing on my head pretending it was a veil while playing with my friends!!  My generation grew up (with Barbie & Ken) and little girls in the 70s and 80s wanting the perfect boyfriend culminating in a romantic proposal, marriage, and 2.5 children.  Well, I did that in 1995 (only 2 children and a dog).  And in 2018, almost 23 years later, my marriage ended.  I’ve spent the last 5.5 years learning and growing.  I have done all the “things”; divorce-care, therapy, mindfulness training, reading all the books, self-reflection, vacations, meet-ups (where I met 2 of my best friends, Melanie & Sheila), and even now 10 months into my Adult Gap Year.

Finding LOVE in your fifties is no small feat!  We all know things have changed; dating sites are all over social media and apps like TikTok have “influencers” who provide you with all kinds of advice on dating and what to do or what not to do.  But do you know what else has changed?  We have.  So many years have passed and so many dating scenarios that we’ve been through.  With age does come wisdom and I certainly know that I am not going to cook or do laundry for someone in my 50s!  Heck, I didn’t do that much when I was married.  I joke (maybe not exactly a joke) that I could write a book on my dating experience in Idaho these last 5 years!!  Sometimes it’s been crazy, unexpected, fun, heartbreaking, joyful, all the things.

However, it was yesterday, Galentine’s Day (February 13, 2024) when I was trading voice messages with my friend Tracy that it sunk in about LOVE!  Maybe right now isn’t my time for “partner” love!  But you know what?  It is time for self-love, friendship-love, family-love, universe-love, God-love, Jesus-love, community-love, world-love, all of it!!  And I know we know that loving ourselves is most important.  But look at ALL the love out there!  It doesn’t have to be a partner-love in this world of couples.  It’s ok if we are single, divorced, whatever label people put on non-partnered love.  We do have LOVE!  It’s right there in front of us if we just remember to look.

I fight those thoughts in my head that tell me I’m “less than” if I don’t have a partner.  Having a failed marriage makes me less than.  Not getting “likes” or swipes on dating sites makes me less than.  And then right there before me are all of these souls who love me!!  My children, friends, family, church, mentors and so many more.  Someday I’m sure there will be a partner for me.  It will happen.  But I want to make sure I’m not missing out on all the LOVE that already exists.  So, on this Valentine’s Day, I have one wish for you – that you see ALL the love pouring out to you!!  Don’t miss it thinking you aren’t worthy because you don’t have a partner!  Loving you and seeing the love of others is truly what I am celebrating today!!

This is my favorite picture of me and my Dad, Stu. He's been gone from this Earth for over 9 years, but the joy and love I see on his face as I kiss him on my wedding day just melts my heart!! This is the love that is so important!! Love and miss you, Dad!!