I returned from the Midwest on July 4th. I was so happy to get home. Often, when I come back home, I have to re-acclimate. This was the longest I’d been away. The first few days, I just relaxed and didn’t do much. I went back through my journal entries. How often I forget the words I wrote on the pages amazes me. They just come through me and land there. I was on my journey in the Spring of 2023 and ready to embark on something new for me, quitting a job and intentionally pausing. As I think about the last 16 months (as of yesterday, August 13th), a few things stick out: abundance, community, shifting, and anticipation.
Abundance, I used to think that was an odd word. I didn't even use it. But as I've opened myself to the possibilities in this Gap Year, it has become part of my vocabulary. And it's all perception. It is looking at life and seeing the abundance I have versus scarcity. I read the book The Soul of Money by Lynne Twist early in my Gap Year journey. It's all about money, our perception of it, and our relationship to abundance. And it's not the abundance of money that gives us abundance. But that's what most people drive towards: a promotion, a higher-paying job, a bigger house, a better car, and more things. What stands out to me during these 16 months, while I have no salary and depend on my investments/savings is that my abundance is the people in my life. I know we are told that. It may seem a bit cliché. We post memes about it. But it's through taking this time off that I've learned to savor my abundance. And get rid of the fear of not having an abundance of money. Yes, I have money, but I know I'd figure something out if I didn't. It doesn't scare me as it once did, in February 2023 when I was sitting in Alaska!
The last chapters of the book had a significant impact on me. Especially Chapter 10, The Power of Conversation. This sentence, in particular, says,
"Words do not label things already there. Words are like the knife of a carver. They free the idea, the thing, from the general formlessness of the outside. As a man speaks, not only is his language in a state of birth, but also the very thing about which he is talking."
Wow, words are so powerful, and just saying the words you are thinking can get things moving. I know that in the two significant shifts I’ve had in the last six years, it's been the questions of another, spoken out loud, that made me really contemplate my life, what I was doing, and what I wanted to do.
Community!! More than anything, I’ve learned that I am built for community. I talk a lot. I've always been told too much. And at times during this journey, I miss talking. There are days when I'm at home and don't see or speak to anyone. This was also true during COVID, which I know was the case for many. The discussions and conversations we have within our communities of people are so impactful. I have gained love, support, friendship, kindness, and so much more through my many communities. I’m not sure what I would do without the communities I have found and been a part of over my life especially during this Gap Year Plus (I think that’s what I’ll call it now since it's 16 months!) 😊
I've moved to a space of talking about what is possible and not living in the proverbial
"box" or even "thinking outside the box," but honestly, not knowing if it is a box—and being ok to wait and see what happens. I have gratitude knowing something is coming. And it comes with being part of the communities and collaborations that find us during our lives. And even from the times of being alone or solo when we really learn more about ourselves. I’ve been so blessed to be in such a fantastic community.From my Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, Human Resources groups, Global Mobility, Tri Delta, my favorite Coffee Shop, and the Baristas at Zero Six Coffee Fix (see the picture below I just took today; they are a big part of my family), family, and friends, the list is long.
Shifting and Anticipation – The Next; I am often asked if I will get a “real job” again. So, what is next? What am I doing next? The answer isn’t clear-cut. So much has shifted during this time. Some changes are subtle, and others are more visible to me and others. As mentioned, I’ve been part of the Bold & Visible program since last October. I take the stage this October to tell my story. But my story is just a small part. It’s through uncovering my story that I have really shifted. I am now working on “The Next” as my soul sister Tracy calls it. And there is a lot. I used to want to know what to expect. However, I now thoroughly enjoy the anticipation of not knowing exactly what will be next. It can be scary, but I’ve learned to “believe in myself”. I have so many resources and abundance that I know something else greater than me is waiting to be “birthed.” Like a pregnant woman, I am waiting with anticipation to find out what will be “born.” There won’t be a gender reveal party, TikTok, Facebook post, etc. But when I know what it is, I will share! I am so happy to be LIVING my life! It’s a truly amazing journey!
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